Convincing people is crucial in life. Even though we don’t want to admit it, we all try to convince people of certain things on a daily basis.

Mastering the art of convincing people is crucial if you want to get ahead in life. Being a salesperson that has to convince a customer of buying a product or being a leader that has to convince his team or boss to do a certain thing are only some examples in the world of business.

How many of you have tried to convince your partner to go on a holiday that they weren’t interested in? How did you approach it?

If you don’t understand how persuasion works you will end up doing what everybody else wants and you’ll never get what is important to you.
This can be a very annoying feeling which will ultimately result in unhappiness and frustration.

What is it that many do wrong?

In my opinion the biggest mistake people make is focusing only on themselves and not what others want. I know it sounds counterproductive because you want to get your way, but let me explain.

Everyone has their own agenda, goals and desires. We all have certain things that are important to us. If everyone only focused on their agenda nobody would get things their way.
You have to find a way to understand what the other person desires and what’s important to them.

Most people are only focusing on what they want without keeping other people in mind. The truth is especially in business you can’t do everything yourself and you can’t just push your agenda on people.
Sooner or later you’ll end up alone.

The art of convincing people is simple.
You have to focus on them!
Listen to them to find out what they really desire by asking questions.
If you can find a way to give them what they want, you’ll be able to convince them that your idea is the right approach.

Let's dive into it.

How to do it

1. Listen and understand what is important to them

2. Find a way of giving them what they want that benefits you

How to execute

Listen and understand what is important to them:
As we said before, everybody has their own desires. Simply pushing your agenda on them won’t make people do things willingly.
The first step is to understand what is the other person’s desire and agenda.

You do that by doing research, listening carefully and asking questions.
If you listen actively and ask detailed questions about the things they are saying, people will open up. The truth is most of us like to talk about ourselves anyway. Let them talk and show them interest. That will already set you apart from others. Since most people don’t really listen, they only wait for their turn to speak.
If you switch it around and really listen actively and carefully it will be surprising to you what people are going to reveal.

Humans love if they are being heard and if they get the feeling that we are interested in them.
People will reveal what they are interested in and what is important to them if you listen carefully.

Find a way of giving them what they want that benefits you:
Now that you understand what the person across from you wants, you simply have to find a way of making it happen.
It’s not simply about helping them. It’s about helping yourself by helping them.

You do that by finding a way that can benefit both of you.
WIN WIN is a famous saying and it is true.
Sometimes it doesn’t happen right aways in the first encounter but I can guarantee if you find a way of helping the other person it will be worth your while.

Here’s an example:
I want to give you an example from my past where I convinced a new customer to give me all of their business instead of many other companies that were also trying to acquire them.

90% of all people in sales make the mistake of talking about how great their product is and why it’s better than the rest on the market.
I knew if I did that, chances of me getting the deal done were slim to none.
There is always someone with a better price or service since many companies are desperat to work with big companies.

When I entered the meeting I listend exactly to what was going on and why this customer wanted to switch suppliers. The procurement director made some comments about their current supplier letting them down. She was also frustrated because their sales contact wasn’t available most of the time and didn’t feel the urge of calling her back. At this moment I knew what to do to close the deal.

I simply had to talk about me being there for every customer and that both, customer service and reachability were the most important things for me as a sales manager. I also made sure to give them some examples of some long time customers that I have been working with for many years.

Immediately her eyes started to light up and I knew that I had her.

In conclusion

Many of you might say this was manipulation but the truth is, it was just a way of convincing them.
Just because I talked about high margins and loyalty doesn’t have to make it a lie.

I simply found out what was important to them and made sure to keep that in mind when dealing with them in the future and everyone would be happy.



Thank you for reading.