Humans lie approx. 5-10 times per day on average.
Most of the lies are not significant but we’re still using them.
Sometimes people lie to come across as something they are not.
Other times we’re dishonest to cover up a mistake.
Almost all lies are being used for a personal advantage.

The truth is that most of us are horrible at detecting lies.
Statistics show that we only detect 50% of the times when someone is telling the truth.
The better you know someone, the easier it will be to find out if they’re being honest or not. Why is that?

Generally speaking it gets better once we know someone because we can detect a difference in their behavior.

Observation is key

Most people we’re dealing with are not as familiar to us as our siblings, spouses or kids.
That makes it harder to detect when someone isn’t telling the truth.

The good news is that there are certain things you can do to spot a liar and they all include observation.
We can uncover the truth if we take a closer look at someone’s behavior.

How to spot a liar

1. Look for fear or guilt

2. Watch out for differences in behavior

3. Set traps

4. Use moral amnesty
   

Look for fear and guilt:
Fear
Liars know what they’re doing is morally wrong, as long as they are no psychopaths. Therefore, they’re always a bit scared of getting caught.
Signs of fear can be wide eyes, stuttering and repeating of words.

Guilt
Guilt is even easier to recognize than fear. Feelings of guilt look just like grief. The corners of the mouth are pulled down and the eyes look sad.
A very important part of detecting guilt and fear is to observe the person when they’re turning away from you. Good liars can fake facial expressions but where most fail is when they turn away and think that we don’t see them anymore. Many times that’s where we have the biggest chance of recognizing those facial expressions.

Most of us can detect fear and guilt quite easily. It’s just the awareness that those behaviors are associated with dishonesty that we need to detect a lie.

Watch out for differences in behavior:
Most of us feel uncomfortable when we lie. It’s not a good feeling for the general population. This makes us behave in a different way.
Nervousness and insecurity go hand in hand with lying and so do changes in voice, tone and body language.
Liars suddenly use different words, a different pronunciation and are way stiffer than usual.

Set traps:
A great way to catch a liar is to set a trap.
Once you suspect someone of lying you should increase pressure.
Do that by asking detailed questions. The other person will need to think quickly about answers. The more detailed the lie has to be, the more the liar needs to concentrate. Effort and concentration can be recognised on the face as a stressed and tense expression.
Sometimes it might make sense to act dumb and to ask them a question you already know the answer to. In some cases liars will contradict themselves over and over again.


Use moral amnesty:
I would argue that in most cases it is smarter not to tell the liar that you know that they lied. This way you can use it to your advantage because they think that they tricked you. In many cases it makes sense to play the fool.
I believe this way you will have a big advantage in the future.

With that being said, in some cases it is important to get a confession.
In this instance confronting the other person with the truth and being aggressive about it is the dumbest thing you can do. Most liars will just make up another lie because they’ll fell embarrassed.
If you want a confession you need to use a psychological principle called moral amnesty.
This means that instead of being aggressive, you need to be empathetic and understanding. Say things like: “I completely understand why you acted that way.” or “I would have done exactly the same thing.”
The liar won’t feel as miserable. They will feel understood.
It’s much more likely to get a confession this way and that’s why it’s being constantly used in interrogations.

In conclusion

People lie all the time. Not everyone lies to the same extent but we’re all doing it. Most of us don’t feel comfortable with it and that’s why differences in behavior are happening.
Fear and guilt are two characteristics that are recognizable at a liars face.
You can detect a liar by setting traps.
Use empathy and understanding to catch them and to get a confession.

I’d strongly argue that knowing the truth and letting the liar live in a world where he or she thinks that we bought their bullshit will have more benefits for you in the future.
Sometimes it pays to play the fool.

Thank you for reading.