Mirroring

Have you ever come across someone you instantly clicked with because they seemed so much like you? If so, there's a good chance you might have been manipulated without even realizing it. In psychology, this is known as mirroring, where we subconsciously copy the behavior of the person we're interacting with.
This can involve imitating various aspects of the other person.
Here are some examples:
-Posture
-Accent
-Gestures
-Mood
-Facial expressions

Mirroring masters take it one step further

We often find ourselves unintentionally copying someone else's posture or accent. It's something most of us have done at some point to seem more likable.

The real “mirroring masters” take it one step further.
They love discovering what interests and opinions the person across from them has, and they quickly express that they share the same views.
They often listen intently, trying to learn as much as they can.
Once they have a good sense of who you are, they start mirroring your opinions and hobbies.

Mirroring might have a bit of a bad reputation, but let's be honest—we all do it!
While it's true that some people, like narcissists, might use it to manipulate others, mirroring can actually be quite helpful in many situations.
Think about a job interview or a negotiation; in these cases, mirroring can create a positive connection without causing any harm.

Why is this technique so powerful and what are the reasons that it works so well?

The reasons why it works

1. Likeability

2. Connection

3. Confirmation

Likeability:
Every person on this planet is one-of-a-kind. While some folks try to stand out more than others, each of us has our own style, opinions, hobbies, music preferences, and interests. These elements come together to form our unique personalities.
When we meet someone who shares our interests, we often find them more likable because we see a bit of ourselves in them.
For instance, imagine you’re into rock music, biking, and dogs.
Who would you prefer to hang out with: the person who plays guitar in a rock band, enjoys weekend bike rides, and loves dogs, or the one who dislikes rock music, doesn’t own a bike, and isn’t a fan of dogs?
For most people, the choice is pretty clear. We naturally gravitate towards those who remind us of ourselves.

Connection:
We often find ourselves irresistibly drawn to people who share our interests and passions. It's as if an instant bond forms between us, a connection that feels almost magical, because we imagine that they have walked a similar path and have had experiences akin to our own. This sense of shared understanding and common ground can be incredibly comforting and affirming. While it might not always be true that our experiences align perfectly, our minds naturally make that connection, seeking out similarities and familiarities that make us feel understood and accepted.

Imagine a mom with three kids. She'll probably find it easier to relate to a single mom than a CEO who doesn't have a family.


Confirmation:
It's something we all experience, even if we don't like to admit it.
We tend to hold our own opinions in high regard. We often believe our perspective is the correct one, and those who disagree with us are mistaken.
While some people are more open-minded than others, it's common for us to feel that our way of living and doing things is the right way. This mindset is especially prevalent in business.
For instance, a company owner might feel more comfortable and validated by an employee who approaches tasks similarly to them, rather than someone who takes a different approach. Sometimes, the actual results aren't as important as the reassurance we get from seeing our own methods reflected in others.

In conclusion

Once you finish this article, you might feel that mirroring is a sneaky trick used by narcissists and psychopaths to manipulate others. While that can happen, mirroring can actually be quite beneficial when done right. Take a job interview, for instance.
Why would you want to express completely opposite views from your potential employer? It’s wise to find common ground. Now, I’m not suggesting you should mimic everything and pretend to be someone you’re not, but sharing similarities with others can make you more likable, helping to build rapport and trust.

While mirroring is technically a manipulation technique, it's one of those tactics many of us have used at some point.
I wrote an article about the most common manipulation techniques out there!
Check it out, if you haven’t yet.

Manipulation is not always a bad thing.

Thank you for reading.