Ever had a moment at work where someone said or did something, and you just instantly got mad without even thinking? That's your instinct kicking in!
It's a throwback to our stone age days when it helped us survive.
Back then, quick reactions to potential threats were crucial for staying alive in a world full of dangers like wild animals and hostile environments.
The tricky part is, this instinct is all about survival, so our first reaction is often driven by all sorts of neurological and hormonal changes happening in our brains and bodies. When we feel threatened, adrenaline floods our system, and boom – we're in fight mode.

This automatic response is deeply embedded in our biology.
Our ancestors relied on it to make split-second decisions that could mean the difference between life and death.
This response can make it difficult to think clearly though.

Take a step back

I've noticed that a lot of us have a habit of taking things too personally. If someone makes a comment about us or about the work we've done, we can get really upset.

Sometimes we can’t even accept constructive criticism because we see it as a personal attack.

When you take things to heart, it can get in the way of thinking clearly.
The good news is, that there are certain things you can do in order to improve that.

How to act more rationally

1. Detach

2. Analyze

3. Challenge

4. Adjust
   

Detach:
Remember, the first thoughts that pop into your head often aren't objective at all. When we feel threatened, staying objective becomes nearly impossible. That's why it's so important to take a step back and distance yourself from the situation.

Analyze:
We've all experienced it. Something happens, and in the blink of an eye, we feel angry or shocked. It's not about logical thinking. It's just our instincts kicking in, the same ones that have helped us survive for thousands of years.

I've mentioned this quite a bit, but it's worth repeating: the first step to figuring out if something's off is simply being aware of it. If you're not happy with how you're feeling at the moment, it might be a good idea to ask yourself why.

Being able to understand your emotions can really make a big difference.

Challenge:
Once you've realized that you're not happy with how you're feeling and figured out why, the next step is to start questioning those emotions.
“Is the way that I’m feeling right now appropriate?”
“Will this reaction do me any good?”
“Did I react properly?”

I'm not suggesting you overthink every feeling or move you make, but sometimes it's really helpful to question your own thoughts and consider if there's a better way to handle things.

Adjust:
Making progress means making changes. It's one thing to realize you're not happy with how you felt or how you acted, but it's another to actually tweak your future behavior.

I get that it's easier said than done, but the more you reflect on times you might have acted differently, the better you'll get at questioning your own thoughts in future situations.

For me personally, the above quote from Robert O’Neill, “Your initial reaction is the wrong reaction.” stuck the most.
If someone who's faced life-and-death situations in wars can grasp this—where the instinct to survive is at its peak—then surely the rest of us can manage it too.

In conclusion

Our survival instinct has kept us going for thousands of years.
The tricky part is that sometimes, when we feel threatened, we don't always think straight. Taking a moment to step back and detach from the situation can work wonders. The more you challenge your own reactions and irrational feelings, the more you'll naturally become aware of how you respond.

It's great to be aware of your instincts, emotions, and any irrational behavior. But if you don't start challenging these things, you'll never open yourself up to new ways of acting. Remember, without making some changes, there's no room for improvement. And don't stress about it—you'll get better at this over time!

Thank you for reading.