Human behavior has always fascinated me.
Why are we doing certain things and why are people around us acting in a particular way?
Admittedly, different things come into play when we talk about human behavior.
Character traits which are determined by gens, upbringing and experiences in life are without a doubt the most important ones.
At the end of the day all of those three are sculpting our personalities and our personal needs.

Studies have shown that there are six basic human needs that everyone has.
The distribution of the different needs forms our personality and ultimately our behavior. Everyone has a different distribution and different needs that are more important to them. That’s what makes everyone unique.

We all require those six human needs to be happy. The ratio is different for everyone though.

Once we understand which need is most important to each person, it’ll will be way easier to deal with people and getting along with them.

What is it that many do wrong?

I believe most people make the mistake of thinking what is important to them must be important to the other person.
This assessment couldn't be further from the truth.

Everyone has a different personality due to upbringing, gens and experiences. Therefore, we can’t all have the same desires and needs in life.

Many of us have tried different things in life and somehow it didn’t feel right.
Chances are very high those things weren’t fulfilling our personal needs.

Let's dive into it.

Six human needs

1. Certainty

2. Variety

3. Significance

4. Love and connection

5. Growth

6. Contribution

What does that mean

Certainty:
This is the most basic need we all have.
Everyone wants certainty to find comfort and avoid pain. If you have been in a situation when something you really cared about like health or a job was uncertain you most definetely stressed about it. When we are uncertain about something that matters to us, we can’t function properly and our thoughts only go towards that particular thing.

Not everyone is the same and for some people the need for certainty is by far the most important one. Those are typically the people that fear new things. Most likely they won’t switch employers often even hough they are unhappy and will most likely live in the same town forever.

We all try to find certainty but everyone does it in a different way.
Some are establishing a daily routine, while others pray or are lowering the expectations.

Variety:
The problem with certainty is once we have it in every aspect of our lives, we get bored. This is where the importance of variety comes into the mix.

“Passion is found in the realm of uncertainty or variety” - Tony Robbins.

We all need variety to chase excitement and adventure. This will make us feel alive.
Some people will do extreme sports. Others are looking for new hobbies or a new country to explore.

Significance:
Everyone has the need of feeling significant and important.
We all want our opinions to be heard. No one likes the feeling of not being important or not being significant to another person.

Jealousy in a relationship is nothing else than the fear of not being the most significant person to your partner.

Unfortunately, the easiest way to be significant is by violence and that is why it will always be around. Violence is the fastest way to get a feeling of significance from others.
If someone points a gun at you there is no way that they won’t be significant in that moment.

Other examples of behaviors that people do to become significant is working harder than everyone else, having piercings or owning luxury items like cars and clothing.

Love and connection:
The need of significance is many times linked to the need for love and connection.

People find love or connection through their partner, friendship or community.
Others get it through a pet or by being in nature.

Someone who has a high need for love and connection might do something bad to see if the people around them care enough to react.

Growth:
If you truly want to feel fulfilled you must grow as a person.
Have you ever heard “if a company is not growing it is dying”?
The same goes for humans.
That is the reason many successful people won’t stop working.
It’s not a matter of accumulating more wealth. It’s about their need to grow and improve daily.

If this is very important to you, you can only find happiness by evolving and doing something you can scale like business, sports or overcoming new challenges constantly.

Contribution:
Helping others and giving back feels very good to many of us.
The feeling you get when people are grateful because you helped them brings more joy than any other thing to some people.

Many of those people become doctors, nurses or teachers.
Helping gives them great satisfaction.

In conclusion

In my opinion everyone has those six needs. The difference between every person is the ratio of what is most important to them.
The way how we go about fulfilling our needs is also different for everyone.
It comes down to gens, upbringing and personal experiences.

Understand your own needs is crucial for being happy.
If you want to understand why colleagues, customers or your boss are behaving in a certain way you must understand what it is that is important to them.

So think about it. What is your most important need?

Thank you for reading.